MAJORRR THOUGHT OF MINDDD!
---UGHHH. i kinda feel like crying and thats not a usual feelingg for me. grrrr i hatee my emotions.Yu know when yu want the best for someone but at the same time yu dnt want then to go do what they wanna do. i think i kinda understand how my mom be feelingg. but yeah anywayss i honestly dont want him to chill with her but at the same time i dont want him to have to sit at home all day. ughhh - relationshipss get more and more complicated everyday. but then again its like when i wanna chill withh and oldd frannd i dont go through with it bcuss i know how he feels about me doing it. Like sometimes i wishh we could switch places and he sees it how i see. but i guess he doesnt bcuss hes a boy and boyss always set tha DOUBLE STANDARDD thingy. i think thats a load of bullshit. but whatever. but back to what i was sayingg i didnt care and that he can go but i dont really want him to bcuss i dont trust anybody that i dont know yah know espeacially femaless bcuss they are bitchs and hoes im not saying that girl is but yeahh whatever. like i was saying even though i told him i dont care i REALLY REALLY do and i put up a wall like oh it no big deal and i dont care. i guess im like one of those ppl who block ppl out bcuss i dint want them to know how i feel.
but likee yeahh... omg im feeling sick in the stomach maybe i should call him and tell him how i really feel but i feel like if you really wanna do somethingg then yu do it regardless of what others have to say. idk thats just my thought of thinking. whatever... lifee is such a blurr right now. idk what to do ughhh. my eyess are starting to water and idk why but its cool i guess itll all be forgotten soon enoughh. :(
